If you are a new parent searching for help with your baby’s sleep, you might feel overwhelmed by conflicting advice. Maybe you are wondering: should they still need me this much? Why isn’t my baby sleeping through the night? Is it normal for my baby to only sleep while held?
Here’s what I want you to know right away. So much of what feels like a “sleep problem” is actually biologically normal infant sleep. The expectations we are given often don’t match what babies really need in the first year.
Let’s break it down so you can better understand what is truly normal and ease some of the pressure.
The First Month: What’s Normal for Newborn Sleep Patterns
In the first few weeks, your newborn’s sleep patterns will likely feel unpredictable. Your baby may need constant support to sleep, like nursing, rocking, babywearing, or safe bedsharing. This is normal.
Your newborn just spent nine months tucked safely inside you. Of course they want to be held now! It is common for them to feed frequently and wake often. If your baby sleeps more during the day and is up at night, that is normal too. Their circadian rhythm has not developed yet.
The newborn startle reflex is still present and may cause frequent wakings. This reflex is part of healthy development. It is not necessary to try to suppress this startle reflex by using swaddles if your baby doesn’t seem to like them. Allowing the reflex to be elicited helps it to integrate more quickly.
Months 2 to 4: What to Expect as Sleep Evolves
During this period, you may wonder how much should your baby sleep at 2 months or worry if your baby becomes more wakeful. Around this age, your baby starts to lose their newborn stimulus barrier. This means they may wake more easily and need additional support to settle.
Short naps and fussy evenings are common and nothing to worry about.
Even if your baby starts sleeping longer stretches at night, it may still be helpful to feed or pump overnight if you are breastfeeding to maintain milk supply. If you have concerns about how often your baby is feeding or whether you should be pumping, I’d encourage you to seek out support form a lactation consultant.
Months 4 to 6: The So-Called 4 Month Sleep Regression
Many parents find this to be the hardest time and search for phrases like “why is my 4 month old suddenly waking up a lot” or “how to survive sleep regressions”. Your baby might start waking every 2 hours, feeding more often, or needing help falling back to sleep.
This is completely normal and actually reflects your baby’s growth and development. Their sleep cycles are maturing and their brain is changing quickly.
During this time, it helps to keep feeding on demand, offer extra comfort, and ask for help when you can. If you feel exhausted or overwhelmed, reach out to your support system and ask them for help.
An important note: babies cannot self-soothe. This common myth leads many parents to unrealistic expectations. Babies learn to regulate by being regulated first by you, their calm and responsive caregiver.
Months 6 to 8: Milestones and Sleep Disruptions
Many parents hope that by 6 months their baby will be sleeping through the night, but sleep often remains unsettled. Developmental milestones like sitting and crawling can actually cause new sleep disruptions, and oftentimes, parents find that sleep seems to get more disrupted in the second half of the first year of life.
Separation anxiety may begin around this time too. Additionally, babies can become more distracted during daytime feeds, which can lead to more night feeding.
This is all biologically normal infant sleep. You are not doing anything wrong. Offering feeds in a calm, dim space during the day can help. Night wakings are still completely normal at this stage.
Months 8 to 12: More of the Same with New Challenges
Sleep disruptions continue as your baby learns new motor skills like crawling, pulling up, and cruising. Your baby may begin fighting naps, which can be a sign they are ready to transition to two naps per day.
Despite common belief, night wakings for feeding are still appropriate and healthy in this age range.
If your baby is waking every 45 minutes to 1 hour all night long and not getting longer stretches of sleep, this may indicate an issue such as oral ties, reflux, or feeding sensitivities. Occasional periods of frequent waking are developmentally normal, but consistent patterns like this may warrant further exploration. Read this blog post on red flags to find out whether your child’s sleep patterns are normal, or reflective of an underlying issue.
Final Thoughts
The first year of life is full of changes that impact sleep. Your baby’s sleep patterns will ebb and flow as they grow and develop. Infant sleep isn’t linear, and it is completely normal that your baby is experiencing these fluctuations in quality and duration of sleep based on what they are experiencing.
Here are a few things I encourage you to remember:
- You do not have to stick to rigid sleep or feeding schedules.
- Nursing to sleep is normal and not a bad habit.
- You can create sleep associations that work for you, like rocking, cuddling, or humming.
- Safe bedsharing or flexible sleep setups can make night wakings easier.
- You do not need to wean or move your baby to a crib out of fear of what might happen later.
Dependence fosters independence. When you allow your baby to fully depend on you now, they will grow into secure independence when they are developmentally ready.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and need more guidance, my Infant Sleep Foundations eCourse and Toddler Sleep Foundations eCourse offer gentle, responsive sleep support to help you meet your baby’s needs and get the rest you need too.
