If you’re thinking about night weaning, I have a little tip that can make the entire process so much smoother.
Start by setting some gentle nursing boundaries during the day first.
This doesn’t mean overhauling your entire nursing relationship or suddenly enforcing a rigid schedule. In fact, you get to make this look however you want. You can be structured and consistent, or you can simply decide in the moment when nursing doesn’t feel good for you.
But here’s why it helps:
✨ It’s much easier to support big emotions during the day than in the middle of the night when you’re exhausted.
Night weaning often brings some level of frustration for your child—it’s a change, after all! But if they’ve had plenty of practice during daylight hours learning that they can handle limits with your support, it won’t feel as overwhelming at night.
Practicing emotional support when you’re awake, calm, and resourced makes the whole process easier for both of you.
Why Daytime Nursing Boundaries Make Night Weaning Easier
Night weaning isn’t just about stopping feeds—it’s about shifting a deeply ingrained habit. If your child has always nursed anytime they wanted, suddenly removing night feeds can feel confusing, frustrating, or even like a loss.
By setting small, manageable limits during the day, you’re giving them time to adjust to the idea that nursing isn’t always a given—but love, connection, and comfort always are.
🌿 Daytime nursing boundaries help:
✔ Make the shift to night weaning feel more natural and less abrupt.
✔ Give your child practice experiencing and moving through frustration in small doses.
✔ Help them learn that they can feel big emotions and still be okay.
✔ Teach them that you will always support them through their feelings—even when they don’t get what they want.
✔ Allow you to practice supporting emotions when you’re not sleep-deprived.
If you find it difficult to hold space for your child’s emotions when you’re exhausted at 2 AM (which is completely understandable!), start practicing in the daytime first. It will build your confidence in responding calmly, and it will help your child get used to hearing “not right now” while feeling fully supported.
How to Gently Set Nursing Boundaries During the Day
This isn’t about suddenly cutting back. Instead, think of it as a slow expansion of how your child receives comfort, with nursing playing a smaller role over time.
You can approach this in whatever way feels right for you. Maybe you want to be structured and set a predictable rhythm, or maybe you just want the freedom to say “not right now” whenever you don’t feel like nursing.
Here are a few ways to begin:
1. Introduce a Nursing Rhythm
If your child is used to nursing all day long, start creating some natural pauses instead of offering it every time they ask.
💬 Try saying:
- “We nurse when we wake up, before nap, and before bedtime.”
- “Milk is for sleepy times, not playtime.”
This helps your child adjust to the idea that milk is still available, just not all the time.
2. Use Gentle Delays
If you’re not ready to set specific nursing times, you can simply start delaying feeds when it feels right for you.
💬 Try saying:
- “We’ll nurse after we finish this book.”
- “Let’s get a snack first, then we can nurse.”
- “Milk after we play outside for a little bit.”
This gives them the experience of waiting while still feeling safe and supported.
3. Support Their Emotions Without Nursing
This is so important: Our job isn’t to stop our children from having feelings—it’s to help them feel safe in their feelings.
Pick one time during the day when your child wants to nurse because they are upset and instead, support them through their emotions in a different way.
💡 Instead of nursing, try:
- Holding them and rocking gently.
- Saying, “I hear you. You really wanted milk, and that’s hard.”
- Offering deep breathing or a song together.
- Just being present with them while they cry.
Letting them move through frustration with your calm, steady presence builds trust and resilience. And when they experience this during the day, they’ll be better prepared for the emotions that might come up when night weaning starts.
4. Use a “Not Right Now” Approach
If saying a firm “no” feels hard, try shifting your language to keep connection at the center.
💬 Instead of: “No milk right now.”
Try: “Not right now, but I can hold you.”
💬 Instead of: “You don’t need to nurse.”
Try: “Milk is for bedtime, but I can snuggle you while we rest.”
It’s a subtle but powerful shift—you’re not just taking something away, you’re offering something else in return.
5. Let Boundaries Look However You Want
You don’t need to follow a specific “method” or timeline. Some parents find comfort in having a predictable rhythm, while others prefer to go with the flow and set boundaries as they feel needed.
The most important thing? It has to feel good to YOU.
If nursing on demand still works for you during the day but you want nights to change, that’s okay. If you want more structure in your nursing relationship overall, that’s okay too. There’s no “right” way to do this—just the way that honors both your needs and your child’s.
When to Start Setting Daytime Nursing Boundaries
The ideal time? A few weeks before you start night weaning, or even earlier.
But honestly? Even if you’ve already started, it’s never too late to introduce this. If night weaning feels harder than you expected, take a step back and focus on setting small limits during the day first.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, build up those foundational skills, and try again when your child is better prepared.
Before You Night Wean…
💡 If night weaning feels overwhelming, this is your sign to start small. Set gentle daytime boundaries, ease your child into the transition, and make sure they feel safe and connected throughout the process.
And if you’re ready for guidance to night wean without sleep training? My comprehensive Toddler Sleep Foundations eCourse has you covered. I walk you through everything you need to know about night weaning so that you don’t have to do it alone.
