Many parents dread the time when their toddler will finally stop napping. It’s understandable- even a brief nap time during the day offers parents a period of rest, and it can be difficult to think about what the day will look like without that nap time.
I always encourage parents to keep that sacred period of rest in the middle of the day in the form of “quiet time”. Quiet time is beneficial for the entire family and offers an opportunity to rest, relax, recover, and have some time to regulate the nervous system. Implementing quiet time with your toddler will require consistency, patience, and collaboration. It will be a gradual process that will likely require your presence for quite awhile, but the results will pay off once your child is able to complete quiet time independently! Keep reading to find out how I recommend starting quiet time for toddlers who have or are in the process of dropping their naps.
Keep quiet time in the same location as where nap time usually occurs.
For toddlers who are transitioning to not taking a nap, keeping “quiet time” in the same location as nap time will allow them the opportunity to take a nap if they wish to. Explain to your child that it is quiet time or nap time (you can also just call this “rest time”). They do not have to sleep, but it’s time to rest and relax. It’s helpful to explain to your child why it is important to have rest/quiet time during the day (even for grown-ups).
Keep it neutral
If your toddler goes back and forth between napping and not napping, one of the most important pieces here is to not stress about the nap. Don’t try to force or pressure your child into sleeping- this will backfire and make this period of the day into a stressful time, and you could end up with a child who has a negative association with nap/quiet time. You can’t force your child to sleep.
Quiet time basket
Select a few quiet, relaxing activities your child can choose from to enjoy during quiet time. Options could include books for reading, puzzles, coloring, playing with stickers, or listening to audio stories. With the help of your child, create a special basket or bag specifically for these activities to live in, and this quiet time basket only comes out during quiet time. This will help your child get excited and look forward to this special time! Here are some of my favorite quiet time activities.
My children love to listen to audio stories during quiet time, and the Yoto Player has been a game changer for us! The Yoto Player is a screen-free audio player that’s easy enough for kids to use. We’ve used it daily for the last two years, and it’s such a hit. I just bought a second Yoto Player for my 3 year old son. Use the code AFF-TAYLORKULIK5 to save 5% on audio players (does not include cards or accessories). Read this blog post for more about how we use the Yoto Player.
Set a timer.
Start with a short quiet time of 10 or 15 minutes and then gradually build up the length of quiet time to your desired length. You can use a visual timer, like a sand timer, so that your child can visually see and understand the concept of time. We love these sand timers, and also this visual timer.
Plan on staying with your child initially.
Accept that you may need to initially join your child for quiet time, especially for younger toddlers. You can lay in bed together and read a story, color, or listen to an audiobook. You can do an activity with your child, or you may start to experiment with having your own quiet time activity next to your child to help them get used to doing their activity independently.
Experiment with brief periods of separation (as age appropriate).
Once quiet time with a caregiver is going well, you can start to experiment with brief periods of separation. You can say something like, “I’m going to get a drink, and I’ll be right back.” or “I’m going to clean the dishes, and then I’ll come back.” Make sure you come back when you say you will and within a reasonable amount of time for the task.
Bridge the connection.
Assess your child’s reactions to the brief periods of separation. If all is going well, you can begin to gradually increase separation time with longer tasks. You can tell your child, “I’m going to work in the kitchen for five minutes, and then I’ll come back and check on you.” Help alleviate any separation anxiety by telling your child what you will do together after quiet time. This is one way to bridge the connection. Bridging the connection is a term coined by Dr. Gordon Neufeld, and it means that we create a bridge between two periods of connection. This helps our child focus on the next time they will connect with us, rather than focusing on being separate from us. For more ideas to bridge the connection, grab The Connected Bedtime eGuide. It’s filled with lots of strategies you can implement today- day or night- to help your child feel more secure, safe, and confident.
