For years, parents have been told that bedsharing is dangerous and should always be avoided. Pediatric organizations issue blanket recommendations against it, emphasizing risks without acknowledging the biological realities of infant sleep—especially for breastfeeding families.
But here’s the thing: even physicians, who are trained to discourage bedsharing, often end up doing it themselves.
A study published in The Journal of Pediatrics found that 46% of physicians reported bedsharing with their own infants (Huang et al., 2023). Among those who breastfed, that number jumped to 68%. And in a telling reflection of the stigma surrounding bedsharing, most of these doctors didn’t even disclose it to their child’s pediatrician.
This study reveals something many of us already know: parents aren’t bedsharing because they’re uninformed—they’re doing it because it works. And even physicians, despite their medical training and exposure to anti-bedsharing messaging, are not immune to the biological realities of breastfeeding and infant sleep.
When faced with the exhaustion of nighttime feedings, the instinct to keep their baby close, and the well-documented benefits of bedsharing for breastfeeding, these doctors—just like millions of other parents—find themselves making a choice that goes against what they were taught. That alone speaks volumes.
Why Are Physicians Bedsharing?
If bedsharing is as dangerous as mainstream messaging suggests, why are so many physicians—who have access to the latest medical research—choosing to do it? The answer is simple: biological necessity.
Breastfeeding and bedsharing are deeply interconnected. Research consistently shows that bedsharing supports breastfeeding by making night feeds easier and more frequent, which helps maintain milk supply and reduces the risk of early weaning (McKenna & Gettler, 2016). A study by Ball et al. (2020) found that mothers who bedshare tend to breastfeed for significantly longer than those who don’t.
But bedsharing doesn’t just make breastfeeding easier—it also plays a vital role in infant physiology. Safe bedsharing has been found to:
- Regulate infant breathing, heart rate, and temperature (McKenna & McDade, 2005)
- Support more restful sleep for both mother and baby (Gettler & McKenna, 2010)
- Facilitate responsive parenting and enhance secure attachment (Ball, 2002)
These are not just theories—this is what decades of infant sleep research have confirmed. And when even physicians, despite years of medical training, end up bedsharing at high rates, it’s clear that no amount of anti-bedsharing messaging can override the biological reality of breastfeeding and infant sleep.
The Real Problem: Stigma & Misinformation
One of the most striking findings from this study is that most physicians who bedshared did not disclose it to their child’s pediatrician (Huang et al., 2023).
Think about that. These are medical professionals who understand infant sleep and SIDS risk factors, yet they still felt the need to hide their sleep choices. Why? Likely for the same reason so many parents hesitate to admit they bedshare: fear of judgment.
This highlights a much bigger problem. Instead of giving parents accurate information on safe sleep, the dominant messaging has made bedsharing taboo—something to be done in secret rather than discussed openly. But the reality is:
✔️ Parents are already bedsharing—often out of exhaustion, whether they planned to or not.
✔️ Most bedsharing parents are educated, thoughtful, and intentional. The idea that bedsharing is just an uninformed or reckless decision is simply false.
✔️ Safe bedsharing exists. Research shows that risk factors—like smoking, formula feeding, or hazardous sleep environments—matter far more than bedsharing itself (Carpenter et al., 2013).
When parents are told, “never bedshare,” they don’t stop bedsharing—they just do it in riskier ways. They fall asleep sitting upright on a couch or in a recliner (which is far more dangerous than bedsharing in a prepared bed), or they bring the baby into bed without guidance on how to create a safe sleep space.
This is why we need a major shift in the conversation. Parents don’t need fear-based messaging. They need realistic, research-backed education on how to bedshare safely if they choose to do so.
If you’re looking for evidence-based guidance on how to create a safe bedsharing environment, check out my post on how to safely bedshare.
Time for an Honest Conversation
This study is a wake-up call. If nearly half of physicians are bedsharing, despite being trained in a system that discourages it, then we need to stop pretending that bedsharing is simply a reckless or uninformed choice.
The reality is, the biological needs of breastfeeding babies don’t change just because a parent has a medical degree. These physicians—just like millions of other parents—experience the deep-seated instinct to keep their baby close, the convenience of nursing in bed, and the undeniable benefits of proximity during sleep.
Instead of dismissing this reality, we need to embrace a more honest, evidence-based approach to infant sleep. This means:
- Acknowledging that many breastfeeding parents will bedshare, whether they plan to or not.
- Replacing the “never bedshare” message with accurate, research-backed information on how to do it safely.
- Creating a culture where parents—and even physicians—can discuss their real-life sleep choices without fear of judgment.
Because bedsharing isn’t going away. But the stigma around it? That needs to.
References
Ball, H. L. (2002). Reasons to bed-share: Why parents sleep with their infants. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 20(4), 207-221.
Ball, H. L., et al. (2020). Bedsharing and breastfeeding: The effect on breastfeeding duration. Acta Paediatrica, 109(7), 1358-1364.
Carpenter, R., et al. (2013). Bed sharing when parents do not smoke: Is there a risk of SIDS? BMJ Open, 3(5), e002299.
Gettler, L. T., & McKenna, J. J. (2010). Never sleep alone: Breastfeeding, cosleeping, and infant sleep. Journal of Mammary Gland Biology and Neoplasia, 15(2), 201-210.
McKenna, J. J., & Gettler, L. T. (2016). There is no such thing as infant sleep, there is no such thing as breastfeeding, there is only breastsleeping. Acta Paediatrica, 105(1), 17-21.
McKenna, J. J., & McDade, T. (2005). Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping controversy. Paediatric Respiratory Reviews, 6(2), 134-152.
